Sunday, August 29, 2010

So You Wanna Piss People Off In MW2?



When MW2 came out last November, I, like many other people, skipped the campaign story and went straight into multiplayer mode. For the first few months there was a large sense of competition that for the most part kept the general audience engaged. Today, there is no competition. Lobbies are filled with 10th prestige hackers, mods, and other sorts of tomfoolery that ruins the fun for everyone. These are the people who need to be banned because they are deliberately giving themselves an unfair and undeserved advantage over everyone else. But....

Then there's the people who take advantage of game mechanics fully accessible to any player, but are considered noobs for using them (Commando, One Man Army, Danger Close, etc.). To these people I say:

I LOVE YOU.  

If you're anything like me, you love the feeling of getting hate mail from somebody you killed in a "nooby" fashion. My favorite method is "shooting the grenade launcher (a.k.a. PRO PIPE) straight up into the air killing the enemy across the map". You may have your preferences but I'm going to show you the best classes to use when you want to become the most hated player in any lobby.

So You Wanna Run Around And Knife Only?

Full On Noob Class:
UMP-45 Silencer
USP Akimbo

Marathon
Lightweight
Commando
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Stealthy Noob Class:
UMP-45 Silencer
USP Akimbo

Marathon
Cold-Blooded
Ninja
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So You Wanna Stand In Just One Spot?

Background: On certain maps, if you stand in the right spot, you can launch a grenade and it will hit a flag on the opposite side of the map. You can rack up kills without taking a single step if you know what you're doing. Here's how it typically works:

1. Enter a Domination game lobby (preferably a pre-game lobby, it's much easier this way)
2. Choose your PRO PIPE class (listed below)
3. When the game starts, run to a pre-designated spot on the map and use your grenade launcher to fire straight up at the flag on the opposite side of the map (ex. A to C or C to A)
4. Rack up kills. Call in air support.
5. Nuke. Flawless Victory.

Pro-tip: Watch this guy's videos on YouTube. He basically teaches you every spot on every map in which to use this method. 
PRO PIPE CLASS:
Your favorite assault rifle + grenade launcher
No secondary (One Man Army)
One Man Army
Danger Close
Any 3rd perk
***USE CLAYMORES*** Repeatedly shooting your grenade launcher will give away your position to the enemy. Plant 2 claymores to protect you from noobs.
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So You Wanna Run Around With A Riot Shield?
Use this class, guaranteed success:
Riot Shield
Shotgun (SPAS or AA-12 preferably)
Scavenger
Danger Close
Commando
C4
Stun Grenade

The main weapon here is the C4. When you see an enemy, throw it near them and quickly double-tap the reload button to detonate it without doing the animation. When you kill them, take their Scavenger bag to get a new C4 and find your next target.
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So You Wanna Piss Off Your Own Teammates?

This is by far the quickest and easiest way to piss somebody off. You can teamkill in Hardcore Team Deathmatch if you're boring and unoriginal OR you can get creative with it like this:

1. Death by Care Package.
-It is insanely hard to kill even a camping teammate with a care package. They see you throw down the marker and they scatter. Well, I'm not talking about killing a nooby camper,  I'm talking about killing probably the best player on your team... while they're in their Chopper Gunner or AC-130. Completely defenseless for 45 seconds, you'll have plenty of time to run over to them, drop your marker, and laugh when you kill their chance of a nuke.

2. Trapped In A Corner 
-This one is so easy to do and yet it is so very satisfying. Find somebody on your team who is camping in a corner (Yes, literally a corner). Run right up to them and they should be stuck in their spot, unable to move past you. You can stand there for as long as you want, or you may want to shoot your gun and have an enemy take out both of you in order to piss off the teammate.

3. Giving Away Your Position.
-Follow a teammate. Shoot your gun. Die. Respawn. Repeat.
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As much as I want to think that I actually contributed something to the MW2 community, I believe that this entire guide was simply common knowledge that is only now being recorded in text. Anyways, if you found this helpful, let me know, I'd really appreciate it.

14 comments:

  1. love. this. so. much.

    keep up with the epic posts!

    Also maybe I can tickle your funny bone? :)


    http://lolmegle.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is awesome. I love how you write. Take a look at my blog, too? http://thisblogisfullofawesome.blogspot.com/
    Thanks! <3

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey, now it sucks I can't run MW :(

    Any tips how to rage people up in COD2?
    I always wonder what to tell them when they complain, oh gosh.

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  4. i like MW2 follow me back learn to be ninja pro
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  5. trolling tips are always appreciated.

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  6. http://whhhhhhaaaaaaaattttt.blogspot.com/

    Never played MW2, although my younger brother has it (15yrs old, stereotypical MW2 player eh?). Will keep this page in mind!

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  7. hahaha so epic.
    I think you will like my blog http://thenatureofreality2k10.blogspot.com/ check it out and let me know

    ReplyDelete
  8. i hate how so many people hack in mw2

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  9. Honestly, noob-tubes aren't even that bad! They would suck IRL though!

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  10. kick ass dude want to try that
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  11. Not bad dude
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  12. Haha, I love you too <3.

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    ReplyDelete
  13. haha ima try some of these!

    http://watcherrecords.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  14. Good tips

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    ReplyDelete